Surviving the Storms

We all face many storms in our lives. It's not about 'making lemonade from lemons' but instead understanding these struggles and having the awareness and insight after we survive them to see how they have led us exactly to where we need to be. It's about not looking back with lament asking 'why?' but instead looking forward and asking 'where do i want to go with this gift I have been given?'

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I have had many storms in my life. You've read about a big one - 9/11. I learned what it felt like to be wrongly accused of something and then have to defend myself even knowing I was entirely in the right. I've had some friendships that were paper thin when push came to shove while others got stronger. I learned the hard way how there is no such thing as a sure bet. I had to overcome vanities and insecurities and for years now I have loved my bald head instead of feeling embarrassed by it. It helped me embrace who I was rather than judge myself by what I looked like, or didn’t look like anymore - I had a helluva head of hair once upon a time ago :) The loss of my three grandparents makes me appreciate my remaining grandma so much more. She is a beacon of light and wisdom in my life.

I was never physically or emotionally abused. I was never molested. I didn’t even get into too many fights in my life. Both my parents and sister are alive and well as is my 91 year old Gram. My health is good and my family’s health is good too. So, there are many, many more storms to come! And I’m sure many of you out there have had your own storms that could be considered ‘worse’ or harder than mine. That is not the point. Your storms are relative to yourself only. Not for comparison to others. For me, those were traumatic events in my life.

So here is the bold statement: Those were the most important things that have ever happened to me! Before you get up in arms and yell at me and question how 9/11 or the death of a loved one could ever be considered a ‘good thing’, stop for a minute. I agree with you. I am not saying anything relative to someone else. I am not saying that I am happy those things occurred, that I would choose to have them occur, or that I am not extremely sad and still very much affected by their occurrences. I am not happy for anyone’s loss or sadness from any of those events I mentioned. Not at all. I still cry much of the time that I recall my own 9/11 experience. I am still very sad.

But I choose to look at it another way now, AND still feel the sadness and empathy. So I ask that you to look at it in another way for just a moment.

Without having experienced many of those storms, I wouldn’t now have the mental fortitude, strength or vision to persist on this path. Strength does not equal numbness. It takes a lot more strength and confidence to show your true feelings, to cry in public, than it does to suppress them for fear of judgment. I have said it many times – this is a much harder road.

9/11 gave me the courage and the urgency to stop floating down the river and to take hold of the wheel and steer for myself. It opened my eyes so I could finally see where I wanted to go and that I needed to listen, NOW. Not tomorrow or ‘some day.’ Now I have an ongoing appreciation that every day is indeed a gift. I live my life now in a completely different manner with a very different set of core values. ‘Success’ to me isn’t about how much money I make. It is about making a comfortable living and providing for my family and my future doing something that I feel is important. Doing something that I feel is a contribution to the world. AND, being around for the important times with my family, like kissing them goodnight most nights and playing tickle monster in the living room and singing them to bed with Neil Young's "Sugar Mountain."

I have had many storms in my life. Because of these storms, I have found my calling and touched thousands of people with my message. Because of the storms, I have better perspective into what’s important to me in my life. I don’t look back and feel glad about what’s happened. I don’t look back and wish they would happen again. They have happened. I can’t change that. What I choose is to stay in the present and look forward and accept that they have made me who I am today and have prepared me for the storms to come tomorrow. I can live with that.