THIS BLOG HAS MOVED!

Hello. I have relaunched my website and moved my blog to my new site at www.jaffelifedesign.com/blog.

I have copied all of these stories over as well as provided a lot more info on my 9/11 experience and the WakeUp Revolution - a new approach to realizing the potential that exists for your life.

I hope to see you there!

Reflections of 9/11 on 9/11

So…what do I write today. Not sure yet so I’ll just start.

It’s just about noon here now and they’re still reading out the names. So many people.
But today, I don’t want to just dwell on the sadness. And my sadness is so much different than that felt by those who lost a husband or wife or mom or dad. But as I have said, you can’t compare - it is all relative to ourselves, to our own experiences and lives.

No, today I will not dwell on the sadness. I will try to understand and appreciate all of the good, all of the blessings, all of the beauty that has been created out of that event. I will remember how it felt to be back in the city after 9/11 and how everyone had an unwritten agreement that we would all take care of each other and that we would get through this. Nobody had to say anything - we all said it with our eyes. And we all looked deep into each other in those days, whether stranger or friend, we were all blood. The heroism, the warmth, the love and the support was something I will never forget. As I watched some of the shows last night on TV, one of the Fire Chiefs stated it perfectly, “In our saddest our, it was our finest hour.” That was an extraordinary experience. For me, a real sadness is that it didn’t last. But I did get to experience it. And I know what is possible. And having experienced it and knowing it is possible is what fuels me when I say to you that there is a way…that you can figure it out..that you don’t need to be stuck where ever you are stuck. That every day miracles are real and can happen. In those days after 9/11, everyone chose to come together and support each other. They chose. It can happen. And it can happen for you too. Are you ready to choose? It doesn’t mean that it is easy. in fact, it is usually much harder. That’s why it is so hard to choose. But it is possible. It just has to mean enough to you.

Today, I still feel the sadness and I remember my friends. I will go to the memorial at Sherwood Island with my family and share with my kids little descriptions of everyone I knew that has a stone there - keeping them alive in my memory and sharing these wonderful people with my little ones. I have already hugged and kissed my wife and kids many many times and I will continue to do so tomorrow.

Because that is the key. Tomorrow. Today, we have a lot of focus and many intentions. Today we relive an experience that served as a wakeup call for us. Today we remember again what’s important to us - we remember all the people we love. We realize that there may be things about our life that we want to change. And we’ll start right away tomorrow. But tomorrow is September 12. And when you wake up tomorrow, will you have the same intentions and strength, and courage that you have today? Will you wake up with a renewed sense of purpose and vision and say “Today is the day I make my new beginning” ? Will you keep that fire alive that is inside your belly today and wake up and take the first steps towards your intentions, no matter how small that step is?

Or will you wake up on what’s just another Tuesday morning in September, summer over, school begun, lunches to make, meetings to go to, calls to make, things to clean, trains to catch, elevators to ride, places to drive to, shopping to do…and tell yourself that you’ll start again tomorrow or when it’s a little more convenient or when you have the time…

DON’T! Make a small decision and take a small step. Martin Luther King Jr said, “Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase.” I can’t tell you that it will save your life, but it might just feed your soul.

Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?

I just received this in my email from a good friend and I thought it was very relevant to our conversation around wakeup calls, surviving our storms and possibility. Enjoy...


A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved, a new one arose.

Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to boil.

In the first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and In the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil, without saying a word.

In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl.

Turning to her daughter, she asked, "Tell me what you see."

"Carrots, eggs, and coffee," she replied.

Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft.

The mother then asked the daughter to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard boiled egg.

Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma.

The daughter then asked, "What does it mean, mother?"

Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity - boiling water. Each reacted differently.

The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting. However, after being
subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak.

The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened.

The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water.

"Which are you?" she asked her daughter. "When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg or a Coffee bean?"

Think of this: Which am I?

Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?

Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and hardened heart?

Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor.

If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you. When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest, do you elevate yourself to another level? How do you handle adversity?

Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?

The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way. The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; you can't go forward in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches. When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling. Live your life so at the end, you're the one who is smiling and everyone around you is crying.

May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human and enough hope to make you happy.

mj

Surviving the Storms

We all face many storms in our lives. It's not about 'making lemonade from lemons' but instead understanding these struggles and having the awareness and insight after we survive them to see how they have led us exactly to where we need to be. It's about not looking back with lament asking 'why?' but instead looking forward and asking 'where do i want to go with this gift I have been given?'

__________________________________________________

I have had many storms in my life. You've read about a big one - 9/11. I learned what it felt like to be wrongly accused of something and then have to defend myself even knowing I was entirely in the right. I've had some friendships that were paper thin when push came to shove while others got stronger. I learned the hard way how there is no such thing as a sure bet. I had to overcome vanities and insecurities and for years now I have loved my bald head instead of feeling embarrassed by it. It helped me embrace who I was rather than judge myself by what I looked like, or didn’t look like anymore - I had a helluva head of hair once upon a time ago :) The loss of my three grandparents makes me appreciate my remaining grandma so much more. She is a beacon of light and wisdom in my life.

I was never physically or emotionally abused. I was never molested. I didn’t even get into too many fights in my life. Both my parents and sister are alive and well as is my 91 year old Gram. My health is good and my family’s health is good too. So, there are many, many more storms to come! And I’m sure many of you out there have had your own storms that could be considered ‘worse’ or harder than mine. That is not the point. Your storms are relative to yourself only. Not for comparison to others. For me, those were traumatic events in my life.

So here is the bold statement: Those were the most important things that have ever happened to me! Before you get up in arms and yell at me and question how 9/11 or the death of a loved one could ever be considered a ‘good thing’, stop for a minute. I agree with you. I am not saying anything relative to someone else. I am not saying that I am happy those things occurred, that I would choose to have them occur, or that I am not extremely sad and still very much affected by their occurrences. I am not happy for anyone’s loss or sadness from any of those events I mentioned. Not at all. I still cry much of the time that I recall my own 9/11 experience. I am still very sad.

But I choose to look at it another way now, AND still feel the sadness and empathy. So I ask that you to look at it in another way for just a moment.

Without having experienced many of those storms, I wouldn’t now have the mental fortitude, strength or vision to persist on this path. Strength does not equal numbness. It takes a lot more strength and confidence to show your true feelings, to cry in public, than it does to suppress them for fear of judgment. I have said it many times – this is a much harder road.

9/11 gave me the courage and the urgency to stop floating down the river and to take hold of the wheel and steer for myself. It opened my eyes so I could finally see where I wanted to go and that I needed to listen, NOW. Not tomorrow or ‘some day.’ Now I have an ongoing appreciation that every day is indeed a gift. I live my life now in a completely different manner with a very different set of core values. ‘Success’ to me isn’t about how much money I make. It is about making a comfortable living and providing for my family and my future doing something that I feel is important. Doing something that I feel is a contribution to the world. AND, being around for the important times with my family, like kissing them goodnight most nights and playing tickle monster in the living room and singing them to bed with Neil Young's "Sugar Mountain."

I have had many storms in my life. Because of these storms, I have found my calling and touched thousands of people with my message. Because of the storms, I have better perspective into what’s important to me in my life. I don’t look back and feel glad about what’s happened. I don’t look back and wish they would happen again. They have happened. I can’t change that. What I choose is to stay in the present and look forward and accept that they have made me who I am today and have prepared me for the storms to come tomorrow. I can live with that.

You just have to start...

Welcome again to my blog. I had been waiting to start it because I believed that many people would judge what I can offer them by my first post so I was waiting to figure out the perfect post. But I realize that there is no such thing and I would be waiting forever.

So I asked myself, if I was the client, how would I coach me?

The answer was simple, as it often is. Be authentic and self-expressed and just start writing. Don't suppress yourself based on an assumed outcome that you made up - what's important is that you start. Why wait for this imaginary Judge to pound their gavel and pass sentence. What am I being so afraid of?

Don't we all do that? We limit our self-expression because we are afraid of Da Judge!

Well, forget about that. I have decided to just write (as you can see) and so my first post is actually my third post which is good because I don't want this blog to be predictable or routine.

I hope some of what I write will inspire you, motivate you, make you smile, make you reflect, piss you off, even make you sad sometimes. But it isn't as important what you feel, it's just that you do feel. We are too numb these days and way too suppressed and if I can spark any feelings and /or a response in you, I will be satisfied.

Please add your writings to this. You are not a spectator here but instead an encouraged and welcome participant in this game. Get your ass out of the stands and onto the court! We may hit one into the net here and there but who cares! We are in the game and that is what's important. Let the judges sit in the bleachers and throw their cowardly edicts down.

Welcome, to our blog. I'm looking forward to hearing from you.

Peace and Possibility
mj

Triumph for a cause

My friend Gwyn just finished a 600 mile bike race from San Francisco to Los Angeles over 7 days to raise money for Aids awareness. I don't think I've ever ridden more than 15 or 20 miles at most!

I can't even imagine the range of emotions and feelings one would have over an exhausting and exhilarating 7 day bike trek. Fortunately, Gwyn wrote a short summary of her journey and is letting me post it here so you can feel like you've taken the ride with her.

As you enjoy her story, think of the last time you took on a challenge that seemed overwhelming. What great hills have you climbed recently? Was there a beautiful view when you finally arrived at the top?

We should all try to have an adventure like this at least once per year as a way to continually fuel our fire and stoke our spirit.

Peace and Possibility,
mj

____________________________________________________________

Hi everyone!

Well, I did it! I rode my bike 585 miles over 7 days from San Franciscans LA last week. It was by far the most challenging, exhilarating,exhausting, fulfilling and intense experience of my life. It's hard top out into words what it was like, but I'll try.

I have to say, I think I experienced every possible emotion in the span of the week. There were times when I was laughing so hard I was crying,and other times when I was simply crying - either way - there were a lot of tears. The physical exhaustion leads to emotional exhaustion which means that everyone finds everything either really funny or really sad.

Here is what the week was like in a nutshell.

I flew to San Francisco on Friday June 2nd. There were about a dozen other riders on the flight and at the end of the short flight, the flight attendant wished us all luck on the ride and said that if anyone wanted to donate to find a rider (we were pretty obvious as we were all talking about how excited we were). One woman wrote a $200 check to a rider. That was just the beginning of the kindness we experienced.

The next day was orientation where we started to get used to standing inline for everything. We got our bike numbers and all the other info we needed, and at the end of the day had a big Pasta dinner to load up on Carbs.

On the first day of the ride, I had to wake up at 3:30 to get on the van to go to the cow palace to ride out. As I was getting ready, my always chipper mother told a joke. I found it funny, so I'll share it. "Why is this morning like a pig's tail?" answer: "Because it's Twirly" (get it -too early) Anyway, at 3:30 am it was funny.

The ride out was really beautiful. We saw some amazing parts of Northern CA that day and every day. We rode about 80 miles the first day.

Day 2 was long - 105 miles - and it was hot!!! Day 3 was the infamous Quad Buster Hill, which was harder than I thought it would be. But I did it! Day 4 brought us half way to LA, that is after we climbed the "evil twins." Day 5 was a short day mileage wise, but in many ways it was the hardest. It was hilly and I was really exhausted. Day 6 was better. I got my groove back. And day 7 was the last day when we rode into LA.

I won't go into all the details about each day, but I will say that thank god that for every hill we climbed, there was a beautiful view at the top followed by an amazing descent.

Camp life was incredible - the people were kind and friendly, and even at their most exhausted, everyone helped each other. It was beautiful. I met some amazing people, and grew closer to people I had met on some training rides. Our HollaBike Girl team kicked butt, had fun and grew really close. The people really made the ride what it was. Special beyond words.

I am pulling together all of my photos and will send out the link as soon as I do, but in the meantime, I wanted to let you all know I survived the ride. I also want to thank all of you for your support, the messages you sent and the good vibes you were sending all week. I totally felt it!!! Thank you!

Much love,
Gwyn

What if...you had a second chance to live your life - on your terms?

What if...you had a second chance to live your life - on your terms?

What would you do differently?

That’s exactly what happened to me...

I was commuting two hours each way to work and not having any time to spend with my daughter and my wife. But I couldn’t just stop working so I didn’t know what to do - but I knew I had to stop “losing days”.

Then one day, I decided to make a small change in my life. I decided that the next morning, instead of rushing to the early train as per my morning ritual, I would take the train after that one so I could have breakfast with my wife and daughter. Instead of being at my desk by 8:45a.m., I would get there a little after 9. Not a big change, but a start.

So, I commuted in on the later train that next morning and I was still in the subway at 8:45 a.m. instead of being in my office on the 96th floor of the World Trade Center. The morning I had breakfast with my family just happened to be 9/11.


That was my wake-up call!

Now I have completely changed my life’s path to serve as a Human Wake-Up Call™ for others. I help to shake them out of their complacency and get them past their fears and limiting beliefs so they can wake up to the possibility of their lives and start living authentically and on their terms!!

So let me ask you again: What if you had a second chance to live your life…on your terms? What would you do differently?

What are you waiting for...?